When the Odds are against you

When the Odds are against you, how to be sure to come out the Other side

It’s tough to see the light at the end of the tunnel when it seems that all the odds are stacked against you.  Life is a mixed bag for most of us and how we deal with the ‘Odds’ especially when they seem to pile up, is crucial to coming out the other side.

Confucius said ‘The journey of 1000 miles begins with one step’

Try not to look at negative circumstances as overwhelming and unchangeable. Instead, break up obstacles into smaller parts that you can handle one at a time, and develop strategies to solve challenges one by one.  

Having myself learnt that our destinies, our futures, our legacies, whatever we deem them to be, are ours for the taking ……… or not!  I made a decision to be accountable not only to someone else but to myself as well.  

Self accountability is sometimes hard to grasp, as we point the finger at others in the faint hope of trying to make sense of how we got to where we are ….. but it is so important in order to commit to making the changes your goals require. 

Resilience and a positive attitude need to be honed and will make it that much easier to take steps every day to achieve the success you desire.  This does not mean becoming someone with a hard heart and a hard exterior, to the contrary create a soft heart and hard feet.  Resilience is about walking the walking, keeping going, about being determined. 

When it feels like the odds are stacked against you, obstacles can seem overwhelming and insurmountable. Those that know me, know that I am very pictorial and I suggest you think of your ‘Odds’, your stumbling blocks, issues etc as obstacles on your road.  So Imagine your road with hurdles and bumps, walls and debris.  Associate each problem or issue with an obstacle.  Now break each down into smaller parts and tackle them individually. 

Divide the obstacles into categories, such as: 

• Obstacles that are out of your control, like the economy, natural disasters, or physical limitations. If something is truly out of your control, it’s not worth stressing about.

• Obstacles, which are things you have some control over, like relationships, debt, your job and you skill set. If you distinguish these from situations out of your control, you can come up with specific ways to overcome them.

• Obstacles that are habitual.  Habits you can change over time in order to achieve a goal. For instance, committing to healthy dietary changes and getting more exercise which will ultimately make you feel more energised and in shape.

• Breaking down an overwhelming obstacle helps you recognise it as specific and temporary instead of as all encompassing and permanent. For instance, financial problems can seem overwhelming, and unchangeable. Instead of perceiving them like a hurricane or earthquake beyond your control, try to see bills as specific issues you can handle by setting a budget, cutting expenses where you can and brainstorming.

People are crucial in this existence we call life.  A good support system is imperative to strengthen your resilience. Never be fearful of reaching out when you’re feeling down about your situation.  Think of something or someone that can help you stay motivated and optimistic.  This is key to progress.

Remember, sometimes you can’t control things that happen to you, but you can control your reaction. Try to develop a positive outlook by reminding yourself that obstacles are opportunities for self-improvement.  They assist in making you more whole.  And being more whole is something that I recommend we all attempt to become more of each day.  We are all a work in progress but have to make a choice to become more whole.

• Remember that growth is not always comfortable. It's perfectly normal to feel overwhelmed or uncomfortable at times due to changing circumstances that are not in your control. 

But once you’ve divided obstacles up into smaller parts, identify changes you should make and stick to them. Hold yourself accountable and do what it takes to achieve your goal. 

• keeping a journal to track your progress can make a big difference when you read it back every few weeks to see how far you’ve come.  It’s time to acknowledge the smaller achievements as well as the bigger ones.

• No matter what method you choose to help you stay motivated, recognize that consistency is key in accomplishing your goals. 

I am afraid it is true that procrastination can lead to heaps of problems, making it more difficult to deal with obstacles one by one. When you face a challenge, deal with it immediately. That way, you might be able to prevent overwhelming circumstances when it feels like all the odds are against you. 

Feeling overwhelmed, afraid, and frustrated are perfectly normal reactions to life’s hurdles. It’s okay to have emotions but try not to dwell on negative feelings.  Allow yourself to feel them, but don’t let them control your actions and don’t ever make decisions based on those emotions.  Making room for positive emotions, like eagerness, excitement and hope, in negative situations makes it so much easier to recover from setbacks, the ruts we fall into.  I also believe that optimistic thinking is better for your overall physical health and well being.

• Try making a mental or written list of everything in your life you appreciate. Remember that you can’t change every part of your life, but you can choose to look for the good.  I often mention the lad I gave a lift to one day in Africa who had a tea shirt on that said ‘Champions don’t happen by chance, you have to choose to be one” In the same way we can choose to think of that we can be thankful for even in those times of many ‘Odds’ piling up.

Just like obstacles, big goals can seem overwhelming. Try to break up a larger goal into smaller, doable parts. That way, you’ll be able to work towards your goal every day instead of getting stuck wondering where to begin. 

Once you’ve divided a larger goal into multiple steps, work every day to bring yourself closer to your end goal. As mentioned above even if an accomplishment seems small, it plays a part in a larger whole and will help you cultivate a winning spirit. Every little bit can help you make what seemed at first impossible, a reality.   My friend reminded me the other day how 6 months ago I struggled to imagine passing exams I have recently had to take.  But here I am with a pass in my hand.

And sometimes, life demands flexibility. While you should stay focused on your end goal, you might have to be open to different definitions of success. Try to make room for uncertainty and unexpected curve balls and do your best not to be disappointed if you have to change your plan and deviate in some way.

Whether you’re trying to achieve professional or personal success, try to find someone who can offer guidance, advice, and constructive criticism. Constructive criticism is to be sort, as can only grow you, but you have to have the right attitude to take it.  Think of someone you respect who will tell you what you need to hear instead of empty platitudes. Put yourself out there and let them know that you look up to them and would like their guidance.

When the Odds are against you, be the person you were made to be, accept the challenge and decide to conquer.  It is up to you.  You will then come out the other side.